When I was 11 I said I'd kill myself at 21. I went tgroufh the fun times of being the antisocial kid whol waa bullied all through school. My family was split up in foster care when I was 12, after a whole bunch of shitty years, some good times, some bad. Depression still has a hold but I'm still here at 36. My dog and cat hold me to the world more than my own fucked up family that needs to die out of the human race. I'm not having kids to help that along. I have the same thoughts occasionally but still here. I won't lie and say life is wonderful and meaningful but I did one thing that for me saved my life. I moved the fuck away from family and cut off ties, but that was due to my situation. Everyone's is different. There's no answer yet to the reason for living. Sometimes it's just finding something to get through the next day and don't live your life according to others expectations. Took my dog to get a puppacino and went to the movies by myself last wknd. This is your life you have control. I make no promises of sunshine and lollipops but it's your life kid, try to do something for you and only you.