Twitter and POCD

Hey so I really get what you’re trying to say here, but I think you’re wrong that anyone who would participate in this kind of behavior is a pedophile. You can read my stories if you want, and there are so many others like mine. Don’t get me wrong, drawing sexual images of children is never ok, but it’s really not so simple. Heavy porn users, especially ones with ocd, often find themselves viewing things they would never be attracted to in real life. I’ve had a problem with porn for the past 5 years. It used to be all I ever wanted to think about. You know, it was like an escape whenever I was getting bullied in school or thinking about what a fat looser I was. Yeah I’ve watched just about everything, and yes, one day I came across some extremely graphic drawings of children and ended up watching it a few more times. I absolutely hated watching it. Like I’d get nauseous and start shaking and stuff but I thought that maybe I could use those drawings when normal porn wouldn’t do it anymore. I’ve never felt attracted to children or wanted to sexually harm someone in real life. It’s been a few months since I looked at that stuff. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts since and sometimes I still feel like I deserve a horrible death for what I’ve done, but my family needs me. Anyone who would normalize that or think it’s ok is sick. I’m not trying to make any excuses or ask for pity, I’ve made my choices. I’m not really sure if looking at these drawings is legal where I live. I’ve found mixed answers online. I guess all I can say is that if the police ever knocked on my door I’d just confess. Anyways I’m really not trying to make excuses, but I think you should understand that things aren’t that simple.

/r/OCD Thread