1.) You have no authority to criminally charge an individual. If the DA is not charging her criminally beyond driving without a license, it's because they cannot convict her of a greater charge.
2.) That's just not going to happen. She's not going to be ordered to pay for more IVF.
3.) This is the part where we get to a reasonable request. That's not unheard of, nor is it something the court will freak out about you asking in the first place (like number 2.) She should start seeing a professional and once care is established and the therapist can attest her care is necessary and related to the accident, you may be able to reclaim therapy costs through an insurance settlement or by suit.