/u/Runamok81 explains in simple terms how a company's CEO is chosen, to shed some light on the election's of the current Reddit CEO

Sounds similar to the unwritten rule of "don't poop in the ball pit." Sure many kids do it, but if you get caught without a diaper and end up pooping from excitement the whole ball pit is closed and the poop is sanitized off. Everyone hates the manager for closing the ball pit.

The way public ball pits are cleaned is by loading the balls into mesh net bags and hosing them off outside and sanitizing each bagful.

The submitters are rough housing kids who jumps around with lots of over-excitement, tries to crush the balls flat, and throws random balls at walls really hard.

Subscribers are the other kids playing and might get caught up with the rough housing kids. This turns them into rough housing kids, too.

Admins are the diapers. Some immature kids really need them.

/r/fatpeoplehate admins are the diapers that were too small and didn't catch the poopy.

The poopy is the bad stuff.

The people with hurt feelings are the balls that got pooped on.

The pooped on balls need to be put into big mesh bags. These big mesh bag full of balls are useless for now as they're kept away from the abuse to be given time to be dried off

Scolding the rough housing kids by parents, staff, and other kids keeps the ball pit clean.

Imgur admins are the teenagers who have to clean the poop for minimum wage while getting poop backsplashed while hosing them.

The parents are other redditors in serious subs classified in types of demands

1) demand that germs make kids stronger. Keep it open during business hours (unaware how bad the poop incident is currently).

2) demand to know why the pit was secretly closed without proper explanation. Believes management is hiding incompetence.

3) demand to know how often does the pit get cleaned? Why isn't it always cleaned. They know or a fact that chad always poops his pants and is there everyday.

The rest of the play structure is still open and everyone gives manager pao evil eye.

Imgur and reddit is the play structure. Slimgur is area just outside the play structure where running isn't allowed, but where walking and talking is now okay.

The imgur community are the kids who picked up a poopy ball and went to tell the staff that the ball was pooped.

The imgur admins are the staff that told manager Pao

/u/mrgrim is the imgur kid who nicely pointed out to the kid with poopy pants why balls were disappearing. "Other kids see the poopy balls and show an adult. The adult puts it into a dirty bin. Also, you're causing the poopy."

Poopy pants kid just like any other kid denies any finger pointing of being a poopy pants and ignore /u/mrgrim. The too small diaper finally stops working and /u/mrgrim and friends get dirty hands

Not so eli5:

Reddit is the fast food chain trying to sell fast food to fat customers that own fat children. This chain is making bank at selling shitty fast food that taste really good. But really, their real deal big investment isn't food retail, it is an international real estate holdings company.

The fast food also gives children the shits.

To be fair though, there is healthy option on the menu.

90% of people at reddit fast food are drive through customers too busy with life to get a healthy meal somewhere else. This demographic may not have heard about the poop incident

manager pao also has to increase marketing this month. She cleverly spins the incident into a story saying how clean the play structure is now that she is the interim manager and how reddit fast food is about having healthy food and safe places.

Manager pao is also known in town when the local newspaper wrote a story where she claims discrimination when she wasn't seated before another group of people at lawyer bar and diner. Even though it was just her and her friend eating there at the time of the incident, before pao's own incident and in a seperate event her husband buddy fletcher ate out with a huge group of business partners and spent a huge amount. Manager pao wanted a full refund of that business meal. Actually he didn't eat there. She didn't get any reimbursement for her suffering and is demanding at least some large value gift cards to cover who own meal.

Pao talks about during lunch break with her friends when she goes to eat small salads at nearby Twitter Organic Cafe, spinning it so her friends think she makes sense. Only her naive sheltered friends believe here everyone else just rolls they're eyes.

One time she tried to eat at reddit fast food and accidentally ordered a tuna sandwich because she was given a tuna sandwich from her coworker last week. It was in the breakroom and they don't serve it at reddit fast food.

PSA: I also read the literal Google campus ball pit is gross so don't go in there.

/r/bestof Thread Link - np.reddit.com