UDATE: [25F] on feeling low value

Like changing the paint job or frame of a car but not working on the engine.

Um, I guess maybe that wasn't clear. I want to know what specifically made me seem insecure. Because if I can get an idea of what in my post made me seem that way, then that would help me get to the root. I'm not at all trying to cover up what's there- I want to get to the bottom of it. But I'm having a hard time assessing what parts of this sound like I'm insecure, that isn't just me ranting or being honest about the situation. And yes, while I am still going to see someone, as I said, I would appreciate a little perspective on where people are getting this from.

In terms of inner logic, as you say, I feel like I'm being realistic. I don't feel like I am a horrible person who doesn't deserve love, or anything. I'm saying that I'm trying hard, and I like myself, and feel that I embody everything I want to be, yet I am met by others with the same sort of apprehensiveness that I had before. I guess I want to know how that seems like an insecure thing to say, when I'm only being realistic. Inner logic- well, that's just the reality of it... I know there's nothing wrong with me, and it's not like there's an elephant in the room or that I've missed the mandatory "how to not be insecure" class of life the rest of the world has taken. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, but this was pure honesty about my situation.. It would have been way easier for me to just say "whatever fuck them I don't care I'm awesome" and continue to live my life. But clearly the things I feel I'm good at aren't exactly translating, and the person I am inside is not translating, because I don't know how to get to that point- I don't know what that looks like. Do you see what I'm saying?

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