ULPT: invite your annoying friends when you know they can't go. It's a great excuse when they complain about never getting invited to stuff.

Ok joking aside, the reminds me. I actually did have these falling outs with some very passive aggressive, self proclaimed "well to do" (but not really) friends who equated my rather dark outspokeness with social suicide and started taking issue albeit super passively. I guess what makes this story OK in the end is it was really just an issue of which crowd you prefer roll with. It's not like I hate these people. They're just pieces of shit.

Anyway, after catching enough shade, and realizing I could not stand how non-confronational these people were (every conflict became drawn out for the matter), I just sandbagged em to see how hard I could make their buttcheeks clench in public by honing myself as an unpredictable, oblivious pain in the ass. Liberal family? I'm now a alien-prophet conspiracy theorist yelling about Ben Ghazi when I stop in to say hi. Conservative? Poof! I am now a Marxist vehemently rallying against ever having a job and demanding free candy and titties from the government in the middle of an ice cream shop. Not just politics, but you get the idea. It probably wasn't healthy behavior, but man it was tasty. It was like a year maybe before they finally had the balls to react instead of just trying to drop hints. They probably still think I have autism. Hell, maybe I do. But I'm onnea dem autisms that can outplay any Southern Belle at their own passive agressivism any day. That was a fun challenge.

Like I said. Really unhealthy behavior, and dynamic in general. Chalk it up to being younger and dumber. Something I still laugh at nowadays.

So eh, sometimes maybe they do know.

/r/UnethicalLifeProTips Thread Parent