Under a post about Ajit Pai

I've got a solution to your problems! The fake-news media will try to tell you that lead is unhealthy, but that's just so that they can keep making you spend more money on food! Lead is very calorically dense and you can get almost an entire lifetimes worth of calories by just purchasing a single .45 caliber cartridge, putting it into a gun and injecting it into your mouth at high speed!

I know $400 for a 1911 and $1.00 for a .45 ACP cartridge may seem expensive, but it's really the best deal available for you when you consider the fact that it's the last food you'll ever need to buy! I might even be able to find a FFL who will come to your nest and do the exchange there!

Let me know if you need help filling out your form 4473, I'll even cover the cost of the background check and buy you your first cartridge!

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