Unfinished business? Or perceiving things wrong?

I think that it's really difficult to be in love with somebody, like for real in love, without being in a relationship with them (certainly not impossible, but I remember being "in love" with male friends as a teenager, and then when I got into actual relationships, the "love" I had for those guys paled in comparison to a real relationship where I got to know the person much more fully).

If your friend had interest in being with you, he would have said so the first time you brought your feelings up, imo. Of course, it's possible things have changed, but in my experience either the spark is there or it's not. I've had relationships develop from long friendships, and feelings have developed over time, but if he said that there wasn't anything after several years of friendship, I'm not sure he would suddenly develop feelings.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea to re-establish the friendship and feel things out, but if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't hang my hat on the idea that he will reciprocate your feelings. I think it's a good idea for you to step back and reassess your feelings, because saying you're in love with someone from afar for years is a heavy bomb to drop on somebody, you know what I mean?

/r/relationships Thread