Unhealthy attractions to women, Need help.

huge hugs to you, OP. It sounds like you're scared instability, and this situation is provoking a similar response. knowing something about that, I'm giving you a hug. And, it's true, this can be an innocuous "that's love" scenario, or, a warning:

so. follow your heart, if your mind feels muddled. If you feel like youre fixating, and it feels unwholseome, that's very different than premptively shutting (potentially) the right one out. do you have a parent or good friend to talk to? if not, PM me anytime. So:

  • does she make you happy?
  • do you wish for her well being over yours?
  • does she bring out the best in you?
  • do you make her laugh?
  • do you like her laugh?

if those are mostly YES and not no, you have to bet on LOVE, because you have to believe in LOVE. it's like the stock market, you can win infinite %, but only lose 100%.

  • possible suggestion: if you feel like youre fixating, imagine her as a friend. relate to her as a friend, and do not be scared of thinking about her. if you start to fixate, go back to she is simply a friend, people think about friends, and you wish for her happiness, and peace. if your relationship escalates ~ do it slowly. I promise you, women respect going slow way more than guys do :) maybe in time, in a way that feels safe and with boundaries, you could tell her how you feel. breathing meditation, and meditation in general, helps immensely.
/r/askpsychology Thread