I don't know about "men" but I can personally attest to the fact that I have sacrificed what could have been a highly lucrative & successful life in a number of fields by deliberately choosing not to take advantage of these privileges that I never asked for nor believe I should have, by deliberately choosing not to participate in damaging behaviour through severely isolating myself, by deliberately choosing to never accept any culture where I am able to identify behaviours that shouldn't be accepted even if it means not having any family or friends whom I can trust, even if it means facing a very uncertain future, even if it means my health deteriorating to the point of experiencing suicidal thoughts & emotions so strong that I am unable to sleep.

I just started browsing this subreddit a short while ago until I happened to reach your comment (and your subsequent "#notallmen" response). I appreciate shadilal_gharjode's response. I find your comments to be hurtful towards me as someone who has been resisting & struggling against racism/imperialism/colonialism and resisting & struggling against participating in sexist cultures from well over 2 decades ago at great personal cost to my mental, physical & emotional health, at great cost to the relationships I could have had with family and friends.

I do my best not to react to comments like yours because I know it is not about me. But perhaps if you were to take some time to listen to one such account of how an Indian man has "stood up for/against anything when the remedy involved self-policing and curbs on their own privilege" then perhaps you may feel more inclined to support those who have been doing so and are in crucial need of support instead of these comments which come across as shallow & ignorant to the very real pain & suffering of men who do make an effort to understand the struggles women face and choose deliberately to sacrifice privileges which we never asked for. I have followed the numerous #MeToo stories which were shared, I was not surprised by any of it, I was not shocked, I knew such things were going on — but I know this is but a mere tiny, miniscule portion of the truth. I do think it didn't go far enough. I don't think this is merely a Women vs. Men thing. I do think that there are men like myself who have thus far not found solidarity amongst women or men — men who do stand for a serious change and do not feel accounted for in the movements that seem to get co-opted and whitewashed.

I will confidently claim to be one such man. I was born in India but moved overseas due to my father finding employment overseas and also being frustrated with the state of India's engineering industry. We moved to singapore. I have experienced racism from the time I was in kindergarten and overheard a chinese girl telling my best friend at the time, his name was Matthew, "don't talk to him". My ill treatment continued into primary school. The school, Ahmad Ibrahim Primary School, had a chinese principal, Mrs Chan Kwai Foong. Things were okay for a while but I started to notice two things both in the students and the teachers: (1) how the chinese would treat others poorly based on the color of skin — Malays would be treated poorly, darker North-Indians treated worse, dark-skinned Tamils treated worst, especially Tamil girls and (2) how the boys/men would treat the girls/women poorly. What would you do when faced with the fact that if you tried to speak about the ill treatment of girls/women that you would then face racist treatment due to not being part of the group of people from whom such statements are deemed, at worst, "tolerable" (i.e. the chinese)? That if you tried to say anything, there would not be support from fellow Indians as they would minimize and brush it all off, telling you "focus on your studies"/"don't be so idealistic"/"you are a boy, how does it affect you?"

I recall an incident in or around primary 2 where a chinese boy, I think his name may have been Jason, slammed his head into a table multiple times in front of the whole class. He was shortly after transferred to a different class which consisted vastly of chinese students. This same student would, a few years later, personally set up a situation in such a way where the vice-principal, Ms Taha, would publicly humiliate me in front of the whole school. The principal, Mrs Chan Kwai Foong, would decide that I should go to a class for "weaker students" after my primary 5 exams, despite having attained great grades, thereby stunting my ability to compete in the PSLE exams — not that I attach a huge degree of importance or respect to the forms of "knowledge", or the modes of practice of this "knowledge", raped into existence by the lost, thieving europeans or distilled into superficial, empty tidbits by the subservient, obedient singaporeans.

Not only did I experience the racism & supremacist mindset of the chinese in singapore, I also got to see North-Indians themselves behaving in a racist manner towards the Tamils. I got to see a supposedly "free & independent" group of Indians happy, gleeful & proud to sell themselves and their families to the chinese, happy to unquestioningly enslave their reality to someone else's and carry out sexist/racist/oppressive abuse on their behalf.

I even got to experience getting molested by a "karang guni" and being treated like I was the pedophile — instead of a child who had been hurt and was in need of care. singapore is an ugly place with enough wealth & power to cover up its ugliness.

As a child whose only power was over my own actions, I chose the option of isolation as that was about all I could do to not participate in damaging, oppressive behaviours. The schools don't teach us how to be a good human being, not in singapore not in India. Given the popularly accepted notions of what appears to be accepted as "knowledge" and of competition, I would argue that a school in the modern sense is absolutely incapable of teaching such things. The schools don't impart us with vocabulary or tools to understand or resist oppression, the schools merely tell us not to do illegal things.

My family moved to canada afterwards, with our health and relationship in tatters. I thought I would find good, kind, caring men & women that I'd heard so much about at university but at University of Waterloo I overwhelmingly found the opposite — sexist, racist, religiously-biased white supremacists and their surrogates. A people so sad, lousy, pathetic and ugly that I wanted to just die.

The students, professors & staff of this white shithole all have white supremacists in their ranks and they have plenty of indian bootlickers to keep their footwear nice and shiny and clean. This applies to the indians in the rest of the city as well — happy to sell their melanin to their owners whilst carrying out the various forms of institutional abuse that keep the shitskins in their place (unless they have been saved by jesus of course), allowing the whites to sell their product which they raped into existence on stolen land with stolen lives as some kind of "diverse, multi-cultural, inclusive" paradise.

Here too one will find indians who are subservient towards whites and will behave in racist ways towards other Indians. This goes for both the men & women. I continued to resist & struggle against what I knew to be harmful & violent. I continued to be bewildered as to how both indian men & women didn't see fundamental issues in the societies we inhabit, quite happy & proud to strive for roles invented by whites on top of their mountain of atrocities. For most of my life I have spent 95%+ of my time on my own. I have had to resist & struggle on my own, fallen into a deep & severe depression, gotten arrested for non-violent behaviour, had chemicals shoved down me throat instead of being listened to and cared for. I know the truth of the white canadians, I know the ugliness that they hide with their wealth and "religion" — even if the feminists don't, even if the other indians there don't. I have done the difficult work required to find the truth and had to flee, leaving my family and loved ones behind after having to face the even uglier fact that the indians there can't do anything that would have had any direct impact on my life & health despite being part of the government itself. I guess the invention of a group of genocidal rapist pedophiles can't do much when it comes to a savage shitskin even when wielded by the shitskins themselves.

Yes there are men who struggle & resist but many of us do so in severe isolation. We don't find solidarity anywhere, we don't see leaders but we know what is harmful, we know what is violent and will go to great lengths to ensure that we do not participate even if it means inflicting violence upon ourselves. We are capable of understanding that there are men who behave in predatory ways, pretending to be "woke" whilst looking for the perfect opportunity to strike.

Despite the stories shared through #MeToo, I do not get the sense that women recognize that there are men who have struggled & resisted through whatever means available to them. I do not feel like I would call myself a "feminist" as that seems too easy a proclamation to make. Whether I am a "feminist" or not is something that I would rather not spend time on. I do my best to identify what is violent & harmful regardless of whether it is towards man or woman or child, or damaging to the countless forms of life around me. I've done what I could and will continue to do what I can. I can't claim to be perfect but I can definitely claim to exist.