Almost everything you said seems like such a stretch to me. I could understand your perspective if you were talking about a man in an adult relationship, but he was a teenager. His lack of emotional intelligence seems kind of... normal to me? Most of the guys I dated in high school had like 3 brain cells. No idea how to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively, set boundaries, etc. They had straight up Golden Retriever energy... needy, drooly, eager to please, no self-preservation instinct... LOL. I'm sort of joking, but not really.

Like I said in my other comment, he certainly became very dishonest and manipulative as an adult, but I just don't see what other people see in terms of him being a terrible high school boyfriend.