Come up with a satirical fake patch for a game that we regularly bash on!

Patch 5.7.


Champions


Poppy

"Poppy will receive her full rework soon, but we'd like to implement some experimental changes to the life server to see how the direction we are taking pans out. At the moment Poppy is an extremly unhealthy Champion. In her current state we can not allow her to become popular and we are forced to work on her. We feel like Poppy's E is her signature spell, so we will mostly like keep that unique mechanic to her kit. On the other hand we want to rework her other spells, especially her ultimate and her passive, as they are both equally frustrating to play against.

We thought her late game was pretty amazing, up to the point where she is literally unstoppable. Her problem always was her early game as she has a bad laning phase. So we would like to help her during the early stages of the game, especially with the changes to her passive, while also tuning down her late game a bit to make her fit the current pool of Champions she has to compete with."

General

Base Health: 559 ⇒ 612

Base Mana: 235 ⇒ 300

Base Health Regen: 8.37 ⇒ 10

Passive - Valiant Fighter

New Combat Health Regen: Now grants plus 150% / 200 % / 250% / 300% (upgraded at levels 6, 11 and 16) Base Health Regen while in combat, increasing by 20% (of that value) for each enemy Champion within 1000 range (300% / 400% / 500% / 600%, while 5 Champions are in range)

New Damage Shield: Activating an ability grants Poppy a shield based on 3.3% of her maximum HP for 3s. (10 / 9 / 8 / 7 seconds cooldown, decreasing at levels 6, 11 and 16)

Removed Damage Reduction: Old passive removed

Q - Devastating Blow

"We already have some changes in mind for this ability, but we will leave it as it is for now."

W - Paragon of Demacia

New Active now comsumes all stacks, procs Valiant Fighter regardless of its cooldown and increases its shield Value by 20% per stack consumed

Removed Armor per stack

Removed Poppy's Basic Attacks give stacks

Movement speed: 17 / 19 / 21 / 23 / 25% ⇒ 30 / 35 / 40 / 45 / 50%

Duration: 5 seconds at all ranks ⇒ 2 / 2.25 / 2.5 / 2.75 / 3 seconds

E - Heroic Charge

New Slow: Now slows target by 30% instead of stunning it, if the target does not hit a wall

Initial Damage: 50 / 75 / 100 / 125 / 150 (+ 40% AP) ⇒ 50 / 75 / 100 / 125 / 150 (+ 4% of Poppy's maximum health)

Collision Damage: 75 / 125 / 175 / 225 / 275 (+ 40% AP) ⇒ Now doubles the initial damage

R - Diplomatic Immunity

Removed Immunity: Immunity to damage and crowd control removed

New Tenacity: Now grants 70% tenacity for its duration

New Damage reduction: Now grants 50% damage reduction to all damage, except from its target

Cooldown: 140 / 120 / 100 seconds ⇒ 100 / 90 / 80 seconds

Duration: 6 / 7 / 8 seconds ⇒ 5 / 6 / 7 seconds

New Visual: Now aplies a big shield above Poppy's head, indicating damage reduction, and an exclamation mark above the targets head, indicating danger. "This is to reduced the burden of knowlegde of this ability, so newer players now whats going on more easily."


Shen

"Shen we will be disabled for an uncertain period of time, because of an odd issue involving creep block and his ultimate. He were not able to hotfix this yet, but our team is currently working on a solution. He will be available again soon."


Upcoming Skins

The following skins will be released at various times during patch 5.7:

  • Honeymoon Ahri
  • Poolparty Katarina
  • Rack'Sai
  • One Night Stand Gragas

Guys I was going to make this much longer, but Im getting tired...

/r/dotamasterrace Thread