Ive been there, fairly recently (in the past year). I had a falling out with my closest friends and just decided to part ways for the bettering of myself. They were submerging deeper into drug use and started becoming very manipulative and toxic. Every time I hung out with them I was left questioning myself, having always been judged by them (was I good enough? Am I a loser ? Will I amount to anything, etc). Thinking in retrospect, I should have realized these as red flags sooner but once it dawned on me it became apparent that we were all changing, for the better (in my case, realizing this) or worse (in their case) . I tried discussing my issues straight forward with them but when that didn’t work I simply ghosted them all. It sounds harsh, and it was at first on me, but once i felt the difference in myself and my mentality, it was night and day. In such a short time since I’ve grown stronger than I thought previously possible, and I’ve come to the point where I don’t regret my decision at all, where in fact I am grateful with myself and my intuition. It seems like your situation is similar in the sense that you’re better off without the negative influences and toxic relationships. It may be hard now, but give it some time :) best of luck to you!