UPDATE #1 - Me [37/F] with my mother-in-law [70/F], had a tiff, she gave me the silent treatment for two days until I called her out on her abusive behavior. Now things are even worse.

I want to offer an alternative view because I've been on the other side before. I'm sure people will hate me for saying this, that I'm in in the wrong or somehow a bad person, but my perspectives still contain merit. Please try to learn from my perspective as you would from any other.

Peoples' lives aren't normally filled with conflict. For so much seething rage and conflict to arise from... a children's easter egg hunt... is in no way normal. When a person of advanced years is clearly expressing difficult in physically participating in an event, throwing in a few sarcastic jabs for good measure is not the normal response. But what is even more bizarre is the idea that refusing to talk to you is somehow abuse.

Let me tell you something... Moments of silence when a child is around is not abuse. Refusing to talk with someone who creates conflict is not abuse. Adults are allowed to decide for themselves who to associate with, speak with, befriend, and they're allowed to do so with independent dignity and not through brown beating them or pulling aside others to strongly encourage otherwise.

The one thing I will never forget is my life being touched by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Just a child, this adult woman became highly uncomfortable and upset with silence. I'm sure you can imagine a child trying to get a parents attention because they're uneasy with silent calmness. Only the difference is that as an adult, a person learns that violent, sarcastic jabs, insults, and conflict with fighting always solicits a response. I took her out on a date to have a picnic with me at a secluded waterfront state park. I simply said, "What a wonderful view." then sat there in silent appreciation, like many adults are capable of doing. Later that day I was punched, slapped, and bit in the face while in public. Other people cheered her on and laughed because they thought I must have done something like cheat to deserve the response.

Ultimately, if someone is being disruptive and causing conflict in the work environment, then refusing to engage them in any further dialog isn't really such a bad thing. Yet you seem to blame the whole entire world for your own failings. What disturbs me the most is the long trail of conflict left behind in your wake. You seem to think each and every work environment you've been involved with was toxic. This sort of thinking is the hallmark sign of the borderline personality disorder, which is so often misdiagnosed for bipolar disorder. Whatever the case might be, no, I will not sit here and try to assure you that when a person is refusing to speak with you after causing such ridiculous conflict over nearly nothing, abuse is in fact not being inflicted upon you.

**TL;DR - When an elderly woman is being passive-aggressive by (indirectly) making it clear how she does not want to physically participate in something, she is confronted with her own limitations and feels horribly ashamed, guilty, upset, in-dignified, and she certainly won't need YOUR insults directed your way. Refusing to talk with you is not an open license to continue what very will -is- the legitimate forms of abuse.

/r/relationships Thread