UPDATE: Afraid to tell my husband (24M) that sex hurts me (23F), but now I have to confront it

It doesn't hurt anymore, I think I'm used to it now.

OMG! I simultaneously feel sorry for you and like I want to slap some sense into you. Do you ever masturbate? Has your husband ever gone down on you? Have you ever given him a blow job? Do you move your body while you're having sex? Do you even know what I'm talking about?

Sex shouldn't be something that you 'get used to' and tolerate. Even my uptight christian high school taught us that God wants husbands and wives to enjoy having sex together and it should be mutually pleasurable.

Next time your husband is away, grab your lube and just relax and spend some time trying different things and figuring out what feels nice to you. God will forgive you, this is about trying to have a better relationship with your husband. And if you really want to have a better relationship with your husband? Freaking tell him. You think he hasn't already noticed some difference since you started using lube? Do you think it will be any less awkward if you wait years before you tell him? Blame it on yourself if you have to. Tell him you were nervous and you're just starting to relax more but you think maybe it would help if you guys tried more X, Y, and Z. Trust me, if he's just slamming his dick into you while you lie there, sex can be a lot better for him too if you guys screw up the courage to start experimenting. Since you're so concerned for his feelings, can you do this for him? So he can have a better sex life too?

Sidenote: On your previous thread people said that pain is a consequence of not losing your virginity until you are older. Not true! I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25 and there was zero pain. But I had a good idea what I was doing and I wanted it.

/r/relationships Thread