Update: Help! Penis envy is poisoning our relationship.

Thanks for the advice, we actually already bought the "gee whizzard" attachment this week; it directly stimulates the prostate. My boyfriend really enjoys it, but it's best for a long session. He can come like a champ, and fairly quickly (~15 minutes), when he uses the wand without the attachment directly on his scar tissue to stimulate the roots of his penis underneath. He's gotten really good at it already, and that's his everyday technique.

And sex is really no problem, I can get him most of the way there, and he just uses the wand to get himself over the edge while we fuck. It's so great to be able to come together now, that's been the best part for me. I felt a little guilty, like the sex was kind of one-sided - even though my boyfriend swore up and down that he loved it - back when he thought he was incapable of cumming.

As for the strap-on, my boyfriend's not into it. He said using a fake dick would be kind of weird and humiliating for him. I've encouraged him to be a bit more in touch with his dominant side in ways that don't require a penis: by taking more initiative during sex, using his fingers, and "topping" me with frottage. He was always kind of embarrassed to hump or grind on me before, since he's kind of self-conscious about his crotch, and he felt a little bit ridiculous for wanting to even do that when he doesn't have a dick. But he's really gotten into it now that I've convinced him that I think it's sexy. He's always experienced some phantom limb sensations, and when we do frot, they map out onto my penis, and it kind of feels like it's his to him, and he really enjoys that (I have to say that it's pretty hot, and intimate, for me to "share" my dick with him like that, too). I bet he'd enjoy a strap-on for similar reasons, if he could get over the psychological hangup about it.

Thanks for the offer to put him in touch with the counsellor, but he's currently in therapy here, and I can already see how it's helping with his body issues and sense of masculinity. And judging by how consistently and intensely he reaches orgasm now, I think he's making the best of his anatomy under the circumstances.

It was so nice of you to take the time to write me this long note to try to help us out. Thanks again!

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