I appreciate the reply. I know it sounds controlling, but in reality it doesn’t really feel that way and I am setting up boundaries. It’s actually a lot better than it was 2 years ago. But even at our worst back then, he never called me horrible names or treated me bad. He’s grown a lot and eased up, but I don’t expect it to happen overnight. It’s a process and I don’t want to rush it. I also don’t really consider it needy just because he has needs. But I understand where you’re coming from because you only get a snapshot of the situation.

Most of the reason we are waiting to get engaged is because we both agree we need therapy to work in these issues before we make that step. We also want to try for kids right away and we need to be completely solid before that happens.

You’re right, this could fall apart absolutely. After all, we all know the stats about 2nd marriages (his last relationship was basically a marriage) but I don’t want to regret trying. If it doesn’t work than at least we can say we gave it our all.