I don’t know how to define sexual attraction other than its definition, but mainly how I know I don’t experience it with men is because I do experience it with women, same goes for romantic attraction. When I see men I can acknowledge if they’re objectively attractive, similar to architecture or flowers, but I have nothing drawing me in to think of them as someone I would want to have sex with/pursue. There is no potential there for desire or arousal to develop based on men as a stimulus, and this includes looks, personality, smell, etc. I enjoy intimacy and cuddling with my bf because I experience emotional and sensual attraction, it’s not very different from how I feel cuddling a very close woman friend I love very much but am not sexually or romantically attracted to except I would describe it as queerplatonic. I don’t desire or anticipate sex with my boyfriend in a sexual way anymore than I would with a vibrator that has hands and a mouth. My desire and arousal exist outside of this experience because I have a libido. I get in the mood to have sex and then instead of masturbating I have sex with him. I enjoy the sex with my boyfriend because of the physical sensations and the neurotransmitters released that increase bonding. I know it sounds weird if you have a different experience yourself, but I really appreciate you trying to understand my experience, so thank you.