UPDATE: I [M23] fucked up and told my gf [F21] of eighteen months that she does the least out of all my exes

I know you're getting a lot of crap, but I think you need to realize something, OP.

These other girls "did more for you" -- and yet this is the one you love most, right? Does that really make sense to you? Repeat it to yourself. Imagine your best friend, your brother, insanely in love, saying that statement. Wouldn't you look at them like they're insane?

Clearly, she's doing things for you. She made you feel safe. Secure. Loved. There's a REASON you have a strong connection to her you never had with anyone else. You don't need to go twenty minutes out of your way to do that for someone, you just need to do what you can. And if you feel differently for her, even compared to other girls who "did more" -- that's an indication that she DOES MORE just by being herself.

This is a lesson a lot of people make the mistake of learning the hard way. They assume that flashy gifts and things you can brag about are gestures of love, instead of true things like smiling at you for no reason just because they think they're so lucky to have you, or calling you just to hear your voice. Sure, one your friends will give you high fives for -- but the other makes you feel better about who you are actually are. The second is the one that can bring you actual happiness, and it sounds like you had that in your girlfriend -- then made the mistake of not realizing that those types of gestures, too, means it's her "doing something". Caring about a person takes effort. It takes mental power. It takes them trusting you -- risking their heart. Making you feel loved IS a person "doing something", and they're doing something that is MUCH harder than going way out of their way just so they can brag they got a special kind of soup.

Please, think about this, OP. If you have any chance with this girl, it will be only if you understand how deeply you hurt her by implying she doesn't do enough. If you're so in love with her, happy with her, she DOES do enough. And let her know you will never, ever, in your life., make the mistake of taking that for granted again.

I wish you luck. I hope, if you can truly understand this, you find a way to word properly to her.

/r/relationships Thread