**Update** Me [23 f] with my [31 m] bf of two years pushed me to a place I never thought I could go

No calls no e-mails not a thing. Its strange and stupid I guess to say that I was somewhat hurt that he seemed to not care at all.

He does care. This is actually really common for people like him. It's a form of manipulation and also a defense mechanism. If he pretends he doesn't care he can try to convince himself, "Whatever, I didn't want her anyway. She's not worth my time."

He also has been probably emotionally manipulating you for a while to know it's going to make you feel bad, and he probably expects you to be weak and cave and beg him to return.

At some point, I am guessing he will do what most people like him do and contact you begging they are going to change. It will all just be empty promises. He is fundamentally flawed as a person, and isn't going to change. So be strong if that time comes.

Everyone was speaking to me like I was some stupid little girl

You are not a stupid little girl, but to be fair, you do sound a little naive about the level of danger in your situation. Like most abusers/controllers, he started his process gradually, probably convinced you his actions were your fault, and always followed it up with positive reinforcement...so there were times when he was good or bearable. But if you had stayed, this would have eventually developed into a full blown abusive relationship...a horror story you read about.

I really think you might want to just go to a bit of counseling just to help you deal with these issues, and also help you figure out why you entered this relationship in the first place and stayed in it, so that you know what to watch out for next time.

People who are abused tend to have character traits that make them prone to abuse, maybe being too trusting or optimistic or submissive, too insecure, too desperate for love. I don't know if any of this applies to you but if it does, you might want to deal with those issues. Abusive and controlling people deliberately seek out people like what I mentioned above because they are easily controlled. Especially the submissive part. You have to learn to be assertive and stand up for yourself early on in a relationship, not later on.

So I am glad you have gotten out of this relationship and I know it's hard now, but it's better in the long run. I wish you the best.

/r/relationships Thread