My choice of admitting my infidelity near the bottom was to get through the facts of the events and my emotions to those events. A lot of people see red when cheating comes up, and I wanted people to get through the story before discounting the narrator entirely as a piece of shit.
Lmao sure let's condemn her and not you, let the saving-face-mobile commence.
I had no delusions that what I was posting would lead to a lot of people discounting my experience, or even believing that I myself am the bad guy and deserved this.
Not everything is an absolute. Stop trying to be the "good guy". You don't meet the requirements.
This was just my reasoning, as some people seemed to think I was trying to hide it... within my public Reddit post.
Yes, your 1 paragraph excerpt of you admitting any responsibility is you hiding it. /r/relationships needs all the details in order to have an educated opinion on the issue. You distorted it for your own benefit.
Some of you were a bit more productive with your beatings, more "tough love" than "street mugging."
poor you.
I fucked up for sure, but at the end of the day this crushed me and I think what she did was wrong, and conning me is a bad thing to do, especially to Collin.
poor you.
Maybe that's impossible to ask strangers online to do. It's easy to look 6 inches up your screen and scream "But look what you did! Hypocrite!"
poor you.
Some of you were using 18 as the duration of the affair.
you made it sound like that, don't deflect to reddit too.
Just some clarifications: I don't know for sure, but she claims Collin was the first instance of cheating. It started in May. 18 months was when she initially broke it off to work on herself, and we got back together though to her, unofficially. Her statement to me was that 18 months ago she didn't want to get back with me, but needed me to help make something of herself. Collin was opportunity number one in those 18 months. Some of you were using 18 as the duration of the affair.
Why are you so concerned with damning her over multiple instances when you did the same thing earlier? Who gives a fuck, it's cheating either way.
Stand there, in your mind. Traverse that distance in time and space and maybe you'll have a better hint of how this could be shocking that she was never over any of this, despite leading me to believe she was this whole time.
Ok. I was in a relationship with a woman that was cheating on me. 6 yr relationship. Strikingly similar to yours. We were set to move in with each other. It was long distance.
I had cheated previously to get with her, with her. ONE time. Over the course of a WEEK. Inexcusable on my end. She kept cheating.
You know how I got through it? By severing myself from the situation and working myself forward. By not blaming her. By letting her make her choice on who she wanted to be with without judgement. By being a bigger man than the situation and realizing that it was a gift, however gnarly the branch twisted. By understanding that a plague had gone from my life.
At the end of the day, you only have your own personal responsibility. I'm not upset at the situation, but rather how you present it. Every single post you make, especially this one, is to show you as a holy crusader that has righted their wrongs. Maybe stop telling yourself you've worked through those issues and actually start tackling them.
Love yourself before your next relationship, and you'll get a healthy one. I'm there. You can be, too.