UPDATE [Me [24F] with my husband [27 M] 5 years, loves me but "can't stand to be around me", left for the weekend]

As someone who has served in the Navy for nearly 8 years now, I can say that during my first few detachments, workup cycles and deployments coming home was stressful due to the extreme change in environment and day to day responsibilities and decisions. Luckily, my husband has always made me feel very special, loved and gave me plenty of space to get re-acquainted with normal daily life off duty. Now we are pros at the coming and going and when we are apart, we email daily.... I'm talking novels. Detailed emails about our days. That helps us keep up with each other, almost as if we are physically together. Then when I return home there is no awkwardness or questions about what it was like, what we've been up to, etc. He knows my expectations as far as what I need from him and what I will need to do personally in order to feel like myself again. Usually all I want is some major love from him the first day and next morning (after being gone for weeks/months/a year/etc you miss human touch, especially from someone you love!) and then I like to take a day completely to myself to go get my hair/nails done, buy a new outfit for us to have a date night that night, buy groceries (trust me... this is an exciting part of coming home after eating the food that is served on a ship or in the desert). But obviously I am a woman... so your husband will likely require man time. Try communicating with him more. For example, shoot him an email while he is gone and say "Hey, I know you've been working your butt off and I want your homecoming to be as relaxing as possible, so what would you want your first day/first week to look like? Do you want "us" time? Personal time? etc." We may not read minds, but we can ask questions and get answers :) Good luck to you! And remember, communication is everything and it truly is all you have, other than love, that holds you both together as one while you are physically apart.

/r/relationships Thread