I'm not sure what the intensity here is from, other than the fact that I'm not dick-sucking your ego. I'm not good at that anyway, and I think it's already being handled by your thousands of adoring fans.

I'm sure you would have stepped up if he had possessed better communication skills. In your words:

If he had told me a few months into the relationship that he wanted me to dominate him -- and used specific language with how he would have liked me to do that -- I could have stepped up and done that occasionally as long as it wasn't a lifestyle thing.

Which is like saying 'he could have reached the top shelf if only he were a bit taller'. That sort of thing is largely outside of one's control, and saying you would have acted differently if he had been a different person- well of course you would. Just like anyone. You don't get points for that.

I believe that you tried. Sure. Tried hard. I get that, I have sympathy for that. In the end, you were fundamentally incompatible. All those efforts were fruitless, and that's tragic.

But you weren't super sensitive about it. Look how you described this scene:

He couldn't really make eye contact with me anymore and his voice got kinda small but I did get him to agree that what he really fucking liked was not so much me greeting him at the door in lingerie and heels then giving him a blow job on my knees but me pinning him down and basically using his body for my own pleasure. Ugh. No thanks.

So you browbeat him into a confession, and he finally cracks, and tells you whats up. You describe him as cowed and embarrassed, very small. Like a beaten animal. He finally tells you what he likes- an open and vulnerable moment- and your reaction is disgust.

You fucking tricked him, lady. You told him things might be alright if he would just open up, and so-very reluctantly- he does. He already knows you won't like it. He's known for a while which is why he hasn't said anything and you make him admit to his personal lusts and desires. He knows you are going to judge him, he is terrified of that judgement, but you make him thinks it's alright for just long enough for him to take off that armor for once in your relationship. Once and for all. To show you his true colors.

And you stabbed him in the heart for it.

Yeah, he's a selfish prick for wanting to be with someone who is into the same stuff he's into. Never experiencing a sexual scene that really resonates with his soul and provides him profound satisfaction. You don't think any of his dispassionate approach to sex might be due to the fact that it wasn't really the kind of sex he wanted? That he couldn't share his desires with you because you'd judge him, just like you did?

I get that you wanted to have a nice life, and you weren't on that track. I'm glad you changed that track, and i hope you get what you're looking for. You put a lot of effort into your relationship, I think that's great. I hope you find another relationship to put that effort into.

But I'm not going to condone what you did to him at the end there. What can I say? If you'd been a completely different person, you'd have handled that differently, and maybe we'd be on the same page. (see how hollow that is?) I'm sorry you were hurt, I'm sorry he was hurt, I'm sorry that getting hurt is a thing and that people lose their shit over it. Have a good day.