There was a story about one guy building one hundred bridges, and than doing something shameful/stupid...so after he dies everyone remembers him for the bad thing...

People on r/relationships don't really like to think about it , but people are really complex. Most people actually advocate against him because he was born that way ( or something happened to him as a child, he had no control over that)...Do you think it's fair ?

Forget about this even, don't even think about how much harm this has caused him over the years( I am sure it has), how many sleepless night he had knowing that what turns him one will never be accepted even if it isn't hurting anyone, it's only in his head...

So, If you want to be judgmental just do what most posters here say, leave him , or emasculate him by forcing him to go to therapy that will add even more distrust to this relationship...If you want to be fair, tell him that you know it's weird, it's hard to understand, but at the same time you have years of fond memories and love between the two of you, this will not eclipse that. You love him for who he is. Tell him that for years he has managed to keep this private,he has dealt with it without hurting anyone(of course, depends on what you think about thought crime), if he wants to, you could go to therapy(either alone or both of you) BUT you will not force or require to do so, after years he has proven himself as a good husband and you will trust him ( and whatever he choose don't hold it against him)

Obviously, this only works if he was a good boyfriend and husband. Take a few days off( or tell him you need some time) and contemplate your relationship. If you where happy,if you trusted this man than there's no reason for not going ahead with it. He hasn't change, your (and r/r relationships') reaction was a clear indicator why he hasn't told you or anyone about this. Forcing him to therapy, insinuating that he needs help will come back to hurt you in the future.

If you love him and want a chance for a good future, you need to trust and respect him while accepting the fact that you will never really understand. Doing anything else(like insinuating his a pedophile...very classy from the people here) will damage your chances...