Awesome resolution. Communication at it's finest :]. I once had a situation with my boyfriend. We were sitting in a restaurant when we said "Wow it just got really black in her." (meaning the population of the eatery had just filled with black people)....naturally, I was floored. I just sort of gave him this look like "Wow did that really just come out of your mouth?" He maintained it wasn't racist, but just an observation. I told him it was a (albeit unintentionally) racist observation....because if a bunch of white people had just walked into the joint, he'd NEVER have noticed, much less made a comment....because in his mind white people are "normal" people....just people. But black is "other". I don't tell this story to demonize my boyfriend. He is one of the most loving, understanding, pro-everything/everyone's equality type of human you'll ever meet. He doesn't have a racist/homophobic/sexist bone in his body! It just goes to show you that even extraordinary/loving/kind individuals such as your fiance, OP....can be victim to a little white privileged...simply due to knowing nothing else! Things like this can happen totally unintentionally. I have a feeling your fiance (much like my boyfriend) would never EVER INTEND to make someone feel as though they're an "other"....and so when his eyes were opened to the error or his ways, he was more than understanding/willing to attempt to change a behavior he didn't even know he possessed. Now when that story comes up, my boyfriend says "Omg I can't believe I said that hahaha. I seriously argued that wasn't racist?!" I see a similar outcome in your future. Good luck with everything OP :D.