Update: My housemate (20M) confessed his love for me (20F)

So, from what I gather, OP has a roommate that had/has a crush on her. His actions so far have been to ask her to do stuff with him, sit near her, and talk to her. She told him that she isn't interested in him romantically, and "only sees him as a friend".

He's stopped asking her out.

He still talks to her, more than she likes, but not about anything sexual or otherwise inappropriate. He still looks at her, and seems to still have a crush on her.

What's the major creep behaviour here? Should OP tell roommate not to look at her anymore? Not to talk to her anymore?

Your comment seems like an r/relationship knee jerk overreaction, to me personally.

Of course, ignoring the behaviour isn't working and isn't the solution. Neither is gathering everybody they live with and declaring that he's harassing her.

He was told that he's seen as a friend. That does not translate to "don't talk to me, don't even look at me."

In the last four months, since the last time OP posted about this, his only transgressions have been to continue talking to her and looking at her in a group setting. He has simply not harassed her. His behaviour is completely reasonable given the message he's received; "you're a friend, but not a romantic option".

So, OP, take this above accusation of harassment with a grain of salt. Redditors like to overreact sometimes. You don't seem to be in any danger.

However, that definitely doesn't mean you have to enjoy, or even tolerate the behaviour as it is.

Give him the opportunity to understand how he is making you feel. Sit down with him, alone but in a common area, maybe at the kitchen table, and tell him. There's no need to make accusations which could make him feel defensive. Just tell him something to the effect of "I've been feeling uncomfortable around you lately. When you go out of your way to sit right next to me on the couch, I feel like my boundaries aren't being respected."

Just like that. Use that formula. "I feel this way. When you do x, I feel y."

I don't think this calls for a house meeting. If you have this conversation and his behaviour doesn't change, and that's a big if, then it could be time to have everyone sit down and hash out some personal boundary rules. I think that's kind of an overreaction right now and will just make everyone feel uncomfortable

/r/relationships Thread Parent