I went through something similar- I was blindsided by a break up of my partner of 5 years, and what you wrote really resonated with me. I also lost my social network and we didn’t even have a single honest conversation before they decided to pull the plug. It really makes you feel worthless, like really, you’re not even worth a single conversation? It’s a haunting thought that you meant so little. But it’s not true, and I’m telling you it has nothing to do with your worth, and it has everything to do with them and how they handle conflict. Unfortunately, your ex showed his true colors, and showed that he wanted to end things in such a way that would put him in the most control, and you with the least. With him protected, and you defenseless. This is going to be incredibly painful but it will be okay.

If you need to someone to talk to you can DM me, i actually did the same when I was first going through it. I didn’t have that many people around me to talk about it, so I found support on Reddit with people that had been through similar experiences. Blindsides are an especially traumatizing way of ending things, and it is incredibly destabilizing bc your world is turned upside down so quickly. Few tips:

-radical acceptance is your new friend, come up with a few phrases that help soothe the anxiety when it gets overwhelming.
-therapy. Get into it yesterday. -try and be healthy and kind to yourself. allow yourself to grieve. You don’t want to shove this down, you need to face it to move on. Buried feelings are buried alive, and they rot. -it really helped me to learn the “brain science” behind breakups. I was able to recognize and separate how I was feeling when I learned about what is actually going on during a break up (withdrawals, pain etc). It helped me remove myself from the emotions a bit. -know that it will get better. This is something that you will have to remember and believe even when it doesn’t feel possible. Because it is the one thing that is certain.

Sending you love and support❤️ my heart breaks for you. Keep your chin up, love, bc you handled yourself with integrity.