I can't speak for every parent you saw of course but I am definitely one of those "lazy" parents you would probably shake your head at in a restaurant for giving my kids iPads. But that would only be 1 snapshot of a rare occurance for us.

My kids don't get iPads at home, if I'm meeting someone for coffee it's almost always at a McPlayplace so they can run around. So they only get their iPads for long road trips, the rare restaurant, (the iPads go away when food comes out cause... you know. Gross.) and the even more rare times they are in a meeting with us (we are self-employed, usually we get a babysitter but a couple times a year they might end up with us). I also might allow an iPad at home if they're sick, but obviously this is rare too. Because of this they do become little zombies with their iPads because it's such a novel thing for them, and I absolutely take advantage of this to enjoy chatting with other adults at restaurants.

"We can't go to the restaurant or for a long drive without (alcohol). Would you rather have a screaming kid or give them some (alcohol)?" Like all things, take the middle path.

How is this NOT a middle path? Using it as a tool to reduce the boredom for your child, and reduce the stress for everyone on occasions where you really need it is pretty legit. Sorry to be that person, but this sentence alone tells me that you are probably not a parent. Being a parent is extremely emotionally taxing and there is nothing wrong with using the occasional tools at your disposal, your kids having an iPad does not in itself make you a bad parent. It is 2018, like it or not iPads are here to stay and will be a part of the rest of their life.

With regards to the story and iPads, there is no reason hatesveggies couldn't give her kid headphones, there are cheap good ones that limit the volume into their ears and keep the noise from being obnoxious for everyone else.