Not sure of the rest of the story outside of the title but I had a some sort of a similar experience. I was this very awkward dorky kid during middle school. Wasn't popular, had that stringy mustache, wore the same shirt everyday bc it would hide my man boobs, etc. I was in 'honors classes' ( I put that in quotes bc today aside from like 3 kids no one was that particularly smart) and so my friends were mostly gunners. Not popular at all and I would get made fun of.

I loved football but my parents would not let me play. Then freshman year of high school when I hit the growth spurt, my parents finally gave in. I grew out in my body and was actually a really good player (offensive line and middle linebacker, not the most athletic positions back then). I finally became some sort of popular. Well, the guys and girls that would finally talk to me picked on special ed kids and I ended up joining in, just to be accepted. I felt awful about it and junior year I just 'rejected' everything about the popular lifestyle. I became a loner bc I didnt want to hang out with my new friends and I lost touch with my old ones.

I still feel awful about what I did and still think about how awful I was but I try to better now. Everyday.