I am so glad I'm not like that anymore. You basically aren't even living, just a machine that focuses on what goes in and what comes out (exercise).

I'm not at a weight I'm happy at (5'4 and 135, happier at 120) but everyone says I look much better this way, I don't annoy the fuck out of people with my obsession, and so on.

The ironic thing is anorexia will kill you. So you are literally choosing death over maintaining a healthy weight.

the problem with severe malnutrition is that it affects your emotions and ability to think. So, beyond all the psychological stuff, you have a reduced capacity to reason to help you see that what you are doing doesn't make sense, and it actually makes you pretty unattractive to the majority of people.

I value intelligence over fitting into 00 jeans. It came down to that and that's what made me realize all that starving, puking, exercising, and self injury wasn't worth it. I'd rather be smart and do something worthwhile with my life and help other people live better lives too, than be the skinniest girl in the room.

I still heavily struggle with my body image but I'd rather work on leaning to care less about that while I continue to live life. The point of life is to live, not to die. And anorexia gets you nothing out of life aside from a false sense of vanity and death. you basically stare into a mirror until you die. that is a horrible existence.