I have literally never felt the slightest iota of motivation to improve myself by people telling me everything I'm doing is good and valid. I understand there are a lot of people more emotionally fragile than what I'm describing here, but when I say I'm not, I mean it! Tell me I'm too fat, that my hair looks dumb, that I need better clothes, that I should stop talking down to people, that I need to at least pretend to have more empathy, tell me ways I can make meaningful improvements to be a better Ian.

This is a big part what's so frustrating about ghosting to me. Why disappear? Was I being hostile? Did you find someone else? Was I not good looking enough in person? Did the sex suck? Who knows! But I'm certainly not going to be able to improve any particular aspect for the next person with no answer besides "Your snaps and chats are pending until ____ adds you as a friend."