Wow, you really won't give up. Ok shill, lets do it.
A. It's called Universal Studios and Universal Studios makes movies. In fact, they made more money last year, making movies, than They've ever made, making movies, (source: multiple, here's one: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/envelope/cotown/la-et-ct-jurassic-world-universal-profit-20150616-story.html). Now, none of the guests at the parks know or care how many movies use the multiple vast, movie-making studios that we see in each park as we stroll the streets-that-are-actually-movie-sets. We just know that Universal is in the movie-making business and we know that because of all the gorgeous movie-themed rides that are dotted around. So, to expect the same level of expertise and rich, immersive experience with HHN is more than reasonable, it's justified. It's their brand. As I originally stated, it's there, in the park, outside of the houses but once you get in line and then inside, it's sadly lacking. And there's no excuse for it because Universal should be experts in this, far outstripping the fabulous hh's I've experienced in other places that have a sliver of the talent and money at their disposal, (see any of the hh's created in NYC and LA every year from scratch). So again, the number of movies made on-property is irrelevant to us and this discussion. Ummm ok?
B. I think my above answer can be safely assumed to cover this one too. Maybe they should hire some of the incredibly talented, struggling artists that create the fabulous hh's found in other cities.
C. Ahh yes, pay an astonishingly larger amount of money to shorten your lineup and get into the sub-par hh's. So, let's recap: you've already paid about $170 for daytime admission to just one of the two parks. This is mandatory. Then you have to shell out for HHN. Last year it was $50 for weekdays and $77 for weekends. This year, they've upped their prices to $60 for weekdays and we can assume at least the same $10 hike for weekends, bringing it to $87. Plus tax. Plus "service charge". Now, you say we must buy the express pass so we will only have to wait "5 minutes". Not strictly true is it though hmmm? Here was my experience, confirmed by the Orlando Insider:
"HHN Express Passes can only be expected to reduce your wait time by half of the posted standby time. We’ve included this tip because we want to be sure your expectations are calibrated correctly. On peak nights, the popular houses often have wait times over two hours. So, even with an HHN Express Pass, you may still have to wait close to an hour."
For that privilege, you had to pay an extra $70-$120 last year. Worth it? The minimum amount of money paid last year was well over $300 before you bought a drink or a snack. That was for midweek. If, like most guests, you went on a weekend, that minimum price was $367. Plus tax. Plus "service charge".
The best part of the whole HHN experience was the stuff outside of the hh's. If Universal offered a reasonably-priced option to just do that, I'd probably go for it. But they don't so ummm yeah, I won't be back.
How's that for justification, sport?