VCUG Trauma -- long term effects and how to talk to your doctor??

I relate so much to your words. I'm 27, and had VCUG done on me every year from 7 mo old until I was 5. The memories are terrifying and I have a deep rooted distrust of all authority, but especially doctors, and I also shake and my heart races when I have to go to a doctor. My parents were also in the room, which made me feel like the procedure was something they wanted to happen to me, when really they hated it too, they just felt forced by the doctors and by the medicine of the time. VCUG is an analog to violent rape for children that young. When they do psychological studies about how much young children remember about the details of sexual assault, they use people like you and me as the control group, because our trauma is equal but the details are a known factor. I do not have vulvodynama, thankfully, but it is often very difficult to relax or enjoy during intimacy, I get into my head and can't focus on the moment. My first pap smear so that I could get bc pills found high-risk HPV and pre-cancer cells, so I had to go through some painful cryotherapy and several other difficult appointments. I didn't handle it very well, and I've yelled at se nurses, but since then I've gone to therapy to talk about my trauma with VCUG, doctors, and my lack of trust for authority, and it had really helped. What helps the most is knowing that I can walk out whenever the fuck I feel like it. I can say "no" and immediately leave, I have that autonomy and I have total control over what happens to my body. I usually do tell any new doctors that I've had a medical trauma and that I will act scared, but it's not personal. And I will get loud and unruly if they think they can force anything on me, period!! Even just checking my BP, they can fuck right off if I'm not feeling it. I hope you can get some therapy where you can talk freely about your trauma. And btw, it's nearly impossible to urinate after a catheter comes out, it's a whole thing. A lot of mothers can relate because apparently they tell you pee right after the catheter comes out after you've had a child too.

/r/MedicalPTSD Thread