3. I’ve been in love with my first serious crush for over a decade. I still very ...

I’ve been in love with my first serious crush for over a decade. I still very occasionally have dreams about him even when I’ve dated other people.

I had a friend like this in high school. We both had a huge crush on each other and I always thought we'd end up together. I wont get into the details but I drifted from her a little bit and ended up dating my current girlfriend. My girlfriend became jealous of her so I took a break from her for a bit. Before I knew it she had moved away and started a new life. She was my last really really good friend who had helped me through some of the worst times of my life and prevented me from making some life ruining choices. A lot of them she never knew she had done anything but a avoided a lot of parties and drugs for the fear of her finding out. She helped me through my depression and suicidal thoughts without even knowing that I had them.

I havent reached out to her in a long time and I wont because of my current girlfriend. I dont want to create any unneeded drama but I think about her a lot.

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I draw with my blood in my diary and i lick it of my fingers when im done. When I was younger I snooped through my sisters phone I asked my step dad to stop drinking and he called me an assh*le I lied to my parents about my grades and I might face serious repercussions I stole alcohol from the same store every other day for two years without getting caught I did something pretty perverse and I very much regret it Electronic’s company keeps refunding me for a tv I bought. I get a refund of just over $1000 every month. When I was a kid I kept the church offering money ... [deleted by user] Some of the most insufferable people are the ones who refuse to grow up My entire life is based and surrounded by lies I’ve told people I drank some rum and cola after a party my dad had. im a horrible person. I've done so many bad things. I wanna change I was a leftist for about 5+ years. Identity politics, anarchism, the whole kit and caboodle. I tried to terminate my pregnancy the entire 9 months

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