i’ve begun seeing someone and assumed it was monogamous, but that seems to not be the case

it’s not my place to take that happiness away from him

No but you can respect his happiness, and your own, by setting better boundaries for yourself and not continue a relationship that started with deception. When something starts with deception it will continue that way. And the DADT only contributes to that, making it impossible for you to protect yourself from STDs among other things. A DADT will not help you feel safe and secure in this relationship. How do you think that will impact your CPTSD?

It also looks like your anxious attachment makes you give and give in relationships and disrespect your own needs a lot, which is also bad for your CPTSD in the long run. I'm talking from a place of experience here. You should learn to be a better partner for yourself and not put other peoples' happiness before your own. Consider terapy to help you with that. It is a skill, and it must be learned.

/r/polyamory Thread