I just want to address this bit...
we are going to hate each other in a few years for missing career opportunities in order to get married
... you're getting married, not ending your freaking lives! For very very few people does marriage preclude careers, unless you make it that way. Like sure, if you want to get married, and quit your job, and stay at home and raise 20 kids ... then yes, marriage = sacrificing your career. But that's because of a decision that you two make as a couple for one half to stay and home and raise 20 kids. Nothing else about marriage necessarily means no career in my opinion!
I know a married couple where one half lives in Laos, and the other in Australia - because that's where their careers and passions led them after 5 years married. Despite the distance they are making it work and have plans to close the gap.
I know one woman who married a military man, and when he had to move, she followed. After a few years he left the military and they settled somewhere that worked for both their careers - his a bit more than hers, but they've also made decisions as a couple about what they want for their lives. She wanted to work part time to raise their kids. They've been married 20 years.
Another couple, married 30 years where every two years they get a different secondment to somewhere crazy. She's been sent to the other side of the planet. He's been sent to Saudi. Every two years they prioritize the other person's career for the duration of the secondment, and then they swap! It's crazy, but it works for them.
Hell, once upon a time I had one of those high-powered crazy stupid exec-type jobs. I didn't give it up because of FH. I gave it up because I didn't like doing it, I met FH, and I'm infinitely happier with a somewhat less insane career, and my wonderful FH in my life. But when I need to travel, he's there waiting for me at the airport when I return :)
All of which was a reaaaallly long rant about saying your mother is thinking in terms of tropes and stereotypes ... but this is your life and you get to live it however makes you the happiest. One of the most difficult things can be doing it, whilst letting go of the opinions of others. I'm not sure if that helps. But good luck to you!!