Yup, you ruined the relationship she could've had with her father. You put her in a very unfair position: she knows all the dirt and gets to have 0 respect for either of her parents. She's not an uninvolved third party without a bone in this fight. And there's no undo button for this. You've also guaranteed that at some point, your other children will know too. In a sense, you got your revenge on your husband as his kids with you all will despise him to an extent, based on the info shared with your eldest.

While you raised your child as your friend, you still owe her a mother. You did that, she didn't turn herself into your buddy. Start using some discretion. You've already given your kids a bad example of marriage, stop burdening them with more garbage. Make no mistake: your daughter is not respecting you for this BS. You picked that man as your kids father and you didn't make the best of it. Not even out of a break up. Start putting them first.