Is this verbal or emotional abuse or am I overreacting?

Thank you for this. I do understand people may get frustrated or stressed and snap at their partner and then feel bad, but for us it's like it's not even happening during stressful moments. It's just random, out of the blue, during normal conversations. And it just makes me start to feel like am I just that annoying? Am I that hard to be around? What am I doing/saying that makes him so frustrated with me? I feel like he makes an effort to work on it but the results aren't long-lasting and it starts to make me feel like I have to walk on eggshells or think hard about how to say something so he doesn't react like that. He always apologizes but it doesn't feel genuine when it keeps happening. I do feel like things are minimized and idk just can't grasp my mind around why. Like he got all hurt when I said I feel like it's abusive, but he also said, "Do you want me to show you abuse?" to which I obviously said no. I actually forgot all about that and like I pushed it out of my head until I started reflecting more on that day. Later when I brought that up to him instead of idk seeing how that could be intimidating to say that, he said he wasn't being serious and even if I had said yes he wouldn't have done anything and he just said that because he thought I'd drop it and do I really think he's that much of a monster. And then he listed all of the things he does for me. Like writing all of this out now I can see how it's manipulative but in the moment it's so confusing and makes me question myself.

/r/domesticviolence Thread Parent