You are amazing and brave. So many of us only wish we'd have the courage to be so honest and forthright during intimate moments with new people. Well done for being open and honest and setting boundaries.

I understand you are heartbroken. It sucks to develop feelings for someone and then have them thrashed apart. This guy sounds very immature and clearly doesn't have good communication skills. He even sounds a little bit abusive, so count yourself lucky you discovered these things about him sooner rather than later.

On the plus side, it sounds like he was depending on the fact that you were not in any kind of formal relationship, and using that as an excuse to treat you with less respect. So consider him a bullet dodged.

If i were you, I'd completely stop communicating wit him and move on with your life. And in the future, I would not do anything any differently than you did—except for maybe make your feelings about sex and intimacy outside of a more committed relationship known over coffee or relaxed conversation, rather than last minute in bed—not because you don;t have every right to make your feelings known and set boundaries at any time—but because it's a very vulnerable place to be, and you can be distracted by feeling hurt and scared and insecure when in such a predicamnet, and this can lead you to say things you don't mean (apologize, take your words back) or do things you don't want (have sex, perform oral sex, concede and let down your boundaries.)