I understand what you're saying, and I agree. But again, it's as if it's women's reponsability to raise them properly and feminists' job to reason them using the right arguments (be calm and detail your arguments, use unrefutable sources and statistics, don't be aggressive, don't accuse them, listen to them and their men's rights queries even if that wasn't the original topic, pretend they are not trying to shift the conversation as usual, don't be passive-aggressive when you tell them that in fact you do also often write about how the patriarchy affects men too, find a good strategy to make yourselves heard even though the media rarely invites feminists/only report on 'sjw'/'tumbr feminism' because they know these articles will generate clicks and angry 'circle-jerking' comments... on most subreddits... that don't care to upvote or comment on threads about domestic abuse, rapes, prostitution and sexual slavery, wage gaps, parental leave, household chores, etc). It's a widespread issue on reddit, even for young progressive men (and some women). Of course, not caring about these issues enough or disagreeing with feminists on some topics doesn't mean they are directly responsible for this toxic masculinity, but when you see that republicans are feeling the need to distanciate themselves from these neo-nazis (now and not when he bragged about molesting women), when you see white people basically saying "not in my name", why aren't guys saying "this is not what manhood is for me"? Maybe, on top of the articles about these people losing their job after being exposed, and a father publicly disowning his son, an article about a collection of women saying they dumped their bf because "racism ain't sexy" would have an impact... Not even sure (it would probably fuel their sexism furthermore) and more importandly they shouldn't be 'won' with the argument that if you're not a xenopphobic POS, then you'll get sex, cuddles or nice meals.