Vince Gilligan Finally Reveals Why Walter White Left Gray Matter

Walt blamed Elliott and Gretchen for his lost legacy at Grey Matter and his crappy financial situation. According to Walt, those rich assho*les screwed his family out of his fortune. In Felina, Walt goes so far as to terrorize them into using their position to get his drug money to his family, saying "...Beautiful people... This is your chance to make it right."

The truth is, all that crap was in Walt's head. Gretchen and Elliott reached out to him, would have hired him at Grey Matter, would have paid for his surgery, etc. Walt gave them a "f*ck you!" in return.

Walt's feelings of inferiority are so great that he can't handle them. He doesn't like who he is when he looks in the mirror. A well-adjusted person might not feel like the coolest or smartest person all the time but s/he is ok with that. Walt can't bear feeling like he's less than the people around him. His coping mechanism is to mentally turn those people into the enemy so he can tear them down from the pedestal he's put them on in his head. He chooses the safe options in life that allow him to feel superior because he knows he's overqualified - Skyler, who is less intelligent and less wealthy than Gretchen, and a high school teaching job.

When Heisenberg comes out, Walt goes on a total ego trip because he suddenly gets to be the one who outwits and intimidates others. And it feels GOOD. It's like unleashing a psychological Godzilla that never wants to stop smashing Tokyo. When something comes up that's a perceived weakness - his cancer, Skyler worrying about him, Gretchen offering help - he rejects it because he doesn't want to feel mortal, tender, or cared for. Being vulnerable makes Walt feel inferior. He drags his family and Jesse along to co-sign his bullsh*t.

Have you ever met an addict? Rampaging ego and deep self-loathing rolled into one. That's Walt.

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