I constantly think about how my life could be better, what could happen to trigger my happiness, the issues I deal with daily that drag me down and make me feel worthless. Constantly worrying about finding or how to find happiness only makes the depression worse. It’s just a constant reminder of what you don’t have. It’s genuinely a waste of time and inflicts negativity and more anxiety/depression. I’m not saying you can’t not think about it. Sometimes it’s out of your control. But can you accept that your life isn’t where you want it to be right now? Yes. Can you actively try to solve your issues, the ones that are important and small? Yes. You can’t ask for happiness and get it over night. You can’t set high goals and be determined to achieve them right away. You have to be okay with rejection, disappointment, failure. It’s apart of life. Someone people have it better. Shit, lots of people probably have it better. Should you care? No. You are who you are. Life can suck ass. I have numbed my pain through drugs and alcohol. It’s only a temporary solution. Take one thing at a time. Maybe start with trying to stop filling your void with these things. You may seem more miserable at first, but like I said, nothing happens over night. Eventually you will learn to use it moderately or maybe not at all if you want to go that far.