Wanted to get some thoughts off my chest (long).

Sorry to dump that shit on you randomly - gotta stop writing comments during 15-minute work breaks, it's not really enough time for me to be 100% coherent in my writing, haha - but thank you, though. It wouldn't be too great of an idea to vent this onto someone who personally knows both she and I, so I have to settle for this.

But I sort of also meant it as a warning, too. It seems like so much of our stories, our songs and entertainment, sometimes even the advice of the generations of those who came before us, focuses not just on the initial get-together of a relationship but on how to hold on, regardless of anything, at all costs, and never let go. But if you're not ABSOLUTELY SURE that that person you're with is the one for you (and how would you even be sure? I thought I was, she ticked all the boxes, but it might not be enough) then not letting go is a mistake. A triple-threat of one: not only is it more of a mistake with each day that passes, but it also gets harder and harder to correct it with each day. You get lulled into complacency, or you focus on other areas of your life instead, or you continuously think "I know what I have is great on paper, I just need to smarten up and feel in my heart that it's great too, maybe I'll give it another year" and then in my case you're five years deep of this, in other cases ten, or twenty, and so on. Which leads me to the most dangerous part: it might not even be a mistake you know you're making. People get themselves into these messes and stay in them for so long because they don't know it's a mess, for any reason or combination thereof. Maybe they've gotten everything they wanted on their list of things they came up with over the course of their lives, maybe they know they SHOULD love the one they're with, SHOULD be happy, and just trust that time or some other action or circumstance will fix it. I say all this because it's not something I was really made aware of as a teen or even a younger adult. In terms of emotional experience, highschool was just some sort of practice round and I never realised it at the time. You're supposed to make mistakes, supposed to ask out whoever the hell you feel like and make an ass of yourself because the stakes are so much lower in that little world and nobody will really care about it afterward, but I hardly even got my feet wet because I was always led to believe the opposite. It feels like breakups are things our society doesn't celebrate in our media, things we try to ignore or gloss over or even condemn. I never learned, as a kid, how necessary they can be. Breakups in movies or whatever were always bad, sad, and it's someone's fault and they're a dick, full stop.

And I don't assume that all this is something that you also don't know - I know it may even be obvious to you. It just helps me to get it out somewhere. Sorry if it feels like some sort of condescending assault

/r/katawashoujo Thread Parent