Wanting to give up..

I've lost everything. My father kicked me out tonight my sister took me in since my mom is MIA and didn't answer any calls then turned off her phone. I have a crap job and I'm suppose to be moving with my bf in a few months and if I have no money by then he's going to go without me and then bye bye to that relationship. I'm so close to relapsing and not caring because I know if I do no matter the dose it will more than likely end everything. It's been 6 years of this and every day is worse I don't even remember the last time I felt happiness more than a minute. I cut myself tonight so I'm sure when my bf sees that tomorrow he will brake up with me. I just make everything worse for myself. This isn't me trying to be dramatic or play the pitty card. All I want in life is success but I can't get there when I have zero help. My sister is only letting me stay for the night then she said we can check out shelters in the morning I don't wanna go to another shelter I just want everything to be over.

/r/SuicideWatch Thread Parent