War Story Wednesday (Dec 21)

I'm not EMS anymore. I went dark and have been an ED tech for almost two years now. For two years before that I was in the field. I just want to share a story here and honestly r/emergencymedicine is intimidating.

Sometimes, walking away from a patient that I know is going to die later today still gets me. Today it was wallking away after doing what I could to help stabilize a ruptured AAA. It's the feeling after being unable to look the family in the eye as we realized how serious this walk-in to our ED really was. That feeling as you rush to grab units of blood and wonder how much good it will do. After watching the patient go off to surgery, watching another AAA go to that OR, and knowing that he'll probably die on the table, like 99% of the other ruptures you've sent there.

I walked out of shift with one of my nurses and we talked about the patient. I've had many die in my hands, felt the pulse leave a patient as we called it, seen more than many my age have. Four years is still childhood when it comes to being in medicine, but this stuff sometimes hits me harder than it did when I first started.

Today, after we got back to our cars, my nurse said, "I'm back for more tonight. Are you?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight." I paused for a second.

"No one dies tonight."

She smiled, "Yeah, no one dies tonight,"

Fate may have something different in mind, but we'll give it he'll before it does.

Anyway, the wine has done enough talking this morning. Have a nice day, day shifters, and I'll be back to the best damn job I ever had tonight.

/r/ems Thread