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Alright guys i found a note at work today and im going to tell you what it says. This is a story of how acid lead me to suicide. so ya i was taking alot of acid pretty frequently for about a year. i was always interested i two things. skating, and philosiphy. but mainly existentianalism, i NEEDED to know how this existance is happening, yeah i know.. we've all been there but this was a deep need for my sole to have. i would wake up and be blown away by the prospect of this existance. Just the other day i said to my own mother who disproves drugs of any kind: "yeah, personnally i think this is a computer simulation", as i have for a good year. well i had a musrhoom trip and was out in a fiel proclaiming my faith in gods of the drugs. it all made sense. look at how intrequete and magical... idk say, salivia, dmt, RC's, weed, acid. dont think weed is potent? try smoking it on acid, acid + mushrooms, dxm, and acid. these events that happen right infront of your eyes are real. i beleive that sense they were happening in existance then they by logic, must exist. well back to the story. So i hyperextended my left knee really bad while skating on a vyvnace and then i could skate for liike 6 months and i was used to doing it every day. Remember? The only things i was interested in were skating and vyvance. to make a long story short i began doing drugs, but the main once were concerned about here is weed, dxm and the wonderfull acid. i was addicted to dxm for these five days straight and woke up with brain damage. before this i started taking a lot of acid, it did marvolous things. Weed has the grandest reputation but thats because of a fatal flaw in its human cunsumtion properties. Im not going to preach at all right now because of what the nature of the certiant propertie. It stunts the growth of the pre-frontal cortex wich is thepart of the brain that sees consequences. so when you learn this you cant exactly understand that thats a bad things because your brain isnt equipped with that process. well acid has the opposite affect on the pre-frontal cortex. i would take this acid and everything in my life would be layed flat out on a table for me to sit and properlie think about like a mature fifty year old man. i became more aware of a my drug habits, two in particuler DXM, and acid. dxm is straight brain damage, and weed makes me fail at life by not studying in school thanks to the pre-frontal cortex retardation. esspecially me being in such a pivital moment as i am in college.

so... phew back to those mushrooms. i was proffessing my faith, ya da, ya da. I got a response back from what i beleived to be the acid god. this was a complete trick i now beleive (sinse being saved from suicide two days ago by jesus christ). well i took one hit of weed some time later and and was confranted with the weed god. bassicly he said these gods of the drugs i do beleive in are real and i now get to choose my afterlife. The weed god punished me to hell because he was in fury of my newfound views the god of everything which is acid and my decision to still make the decision to smoke dumbass weed. when i asked for proof he was really the weed god my i went from practicably super light visuals to the full blown best visual ive ever had. well just the other day i was at a point where im wanted to kill myself, i was tired of questioning existance every day, i was eSSPECialy tire of being addicted to drugs. i couldnt change the two things i was interested in, drugs and skating. couldnt skate anymore, and since i had this 8 tab trip the other day i couldnt do acid anymore. i'ts not that my tolerance was high it was that it was eight of the best 'cid ive had and i can talk to the acid god on a microdose im that in touch with him. i only ever wanted to do acid after i started doing alot, it was a real wonder drug. dare i say saved my and a close friends life. well i fell back into drugs when my best friend who i have share the acid information about to decided to split on the lifestyle i was learning and fall back into smoking dope. when that happened i could kiss sobriety good-bye. keep in mind, i wanted to stay on acid my whole life.i I have notes in my room giving a explanation on how i can live a happy life. it did this for me. I firmly wrote at the bottom of both papers, STAY ON THE ACID. I was right, so i thought. Like i said i mean hey, i HOPE you're guys's brains are wired as well as it is for me for you. I must say, we're few and far between. well i took eighth the other day and couldnt talk to the weed god, i was now out of acid so i decided to order some 3-meo, i loved that shit. soon after this i recieved a mass amount of suicidel thought and began wanting to just go off the 3-meo-pcp and take my own life from me. that scares me right now because i felt the devil in me when when typing that. hell'a internal dialogues right now this has taken quite some time. well i decided to help myself out and order MXE instead becaues pcp straight makes you manic and i beleive that it was a pure helping hand from Jesus because i KNEW that i wanted to do this. well, the MXE sight was a fake. wanted to get high and made plans with people for some weed, knew it was a sin. god the devil has been telling me that im going to hell and he rubs my brain as proof (eluding the the feeling from dxm) the dxm was sin and what he used to get me to end my life but im not letting that happen. well this whole pshychedelic venture here was in desperation to get some truths of out of life and finnaly i was. the acid god showed me a visual and i was telapathicly communicated with the god. in escence he was absurdanace, it made so muuch sense! I was havng full fiath in these gods but it was just a faith in the devil. no longer will i sucumb to the evils of addiction. So last night i was about to commit to killing myself and i google searched "what happpens when you die" just to see what i could find. well people are dying and having these testimonys. they are all claiming not only similar, but LOGICAL things. You'll have to trust me, for one, drugs work EXTREMELY well for me and second, you have to understand how much acid i was taking. Nothing absurdly expensive but deffinetely avereaged every third day for a 8-9 months. you'lll have to trust me here too, the smarter you are the better drugs are for you. and every drug ive taken were out of this world. See i guess by out of this world i reallymean. super into this world. out of world as in extra dimensianal intelligence (dmt?) But i was doing the drugs that were making me a better me. but weed was a definite addiction. also more than anything, the general urge to get high. i mean smoking weed on dxm makes you HIGH AS FUCKKK!!! I was super convinced that i reached the ultamite enlightnement on my fifth day dxm +weed (on last 2 days) binge. bassicly the dxm high i get is the opposite of the brain damage it gives you but multiplied ten fold. well none of the elaberate nothings of theories i've beleieved about existance compared the the logicness of christianity. im telling you guys, THE sinigle best theory of existance is the computer simulation once. this answers nothing, whats at the end? how many exxistnances are simulations, here we face the same question. i've beleived countless things. im all that exists, and the general notion of "There is more in heavan and earth than dreamed of in your philosiphy". Not everything in this existance has to be logical, we as humans, come from a completely and udderlly logcal way of thinking. We're born from a human.. THAT IS COMLPETELY LOGICAL. From then on everything is logical, because your concsiounesness came into existance after logic binded itself to the atoms on this earth. but we;re just incapable of fathaming the idea that there dosnt have to be an existance for god exists.

BOOM Thats your key right there. Think about it! Ahkoms razor, anyone? The simplest answer is far more often correct. God created other beings, a whole slew of us. gave us an oppurtunity to be one with god, one with the universe, and the evenetualy end up back with him. I can see it right now. he will send us to hell because he wants to know everyone he created. he wants to see the look on their faces when everything, all the love in life is present and talking, laughing, skydiving, chatting, living an eternal bliss. if god is everything then isnt that was he would make for himself??? i hope that he finds it in his heart to forgive me for the things ive done today.