Way to much hate directed at this sub

Imma be real, most of the hate that this sub recieves seems to be very unwarranted, trying to reduce down the whole sub down to maybe a few questionable comments or posts (that are mostly people venting and/or just making fun of a situation that’s still way less worse and more justified than a lot of the other things that I l’ve seen be criticized on Reddit. The only reason that they have such a problem with this sub is of course the societal importance on reproducing and being parents first and foremost above all else, which is one of the things that this sub talks about as the people here don’t fall into what society considers that true standard of “success” and naturally want to vent about that).

Realistically, the thing about this sub is that it consists of nearly every type of post when it comes to the topic of being childfree, which attracts a lot of different people with different opinions, some stronger than others, a lot of them heavily influenced by venting due to the mistreatment they’ve received due to being childfree. When it comes to being mistreated about something like that and having to live in the culture that we do, a lot of emotions do come out, and we feel more comfortable expressing even thoughts that we would never say in real life, online. Hence, the smallest of emotions, some which may seem “unreasonable” to many, tend to come out because this is a safe place to express them and for people to get support and be able to discuss certain topics that too many people are uncomfortable discussing in real life. If this sub were to ever try to restrict conversation and try to “tone down” certain things solely to appease to parents (who could easily avoid this sub and not see this content if they don’t want to. The same cannot be said for the toxic parenting culture and societal pressures than affect many people to this day, childfree or not), it becomes a place where we restrict freedom of necessary opinions and perspective and viewpoints and experiences that are crucial when it comes to having a more holistic and realistic view of this topic.

What’s discussed isn’t always going to be things that people agree with or that appeals to everyone, and that’s kind of the point. If you’re childfree, your life experience and opinions will probably be different than those who do have children. That is an expression of genuine emotion as opposed to an active attack on parents alone. It’s necessary to have a place like this for a different point of view that contrasts the “parents are angels” and “having children is one of the best things you can do with your life” viewpoint that’s shoved down our throats.

For example, there was a post that discussed a woman talking about how she finds the idea of pregnancy disgusting and couldn’t imagine that about herself and confused as to why other women and girls don’t feel the same. This is a genuine emotion and feeling that she’s very allowed to have because she’s allowed to feel a certain way about what can happen to her body as everybody is comfortable with different things, and everyone has the own valid view of certain bodily functions in general. Pregnancy is not some sort of magical and unique event that’s somehow free of being seen differently by different people, and frankly, it shouldn’t be. If everyone had the same opinion on every bodily function, then we wouldn’t be human beings in the first place would we? And realistically, pregnancy isn’t always this happy and magical event that’s good for every woman. We see stories about happy pregnancies, but how about ones that went wrong? Moms who regret being moms? Are there stories not equally valid? Every woman has the right to feel a certain and define her body in a way that feels right to her.

I scrolled through the comments, and none of the comments were attacking women for being pregnant alone or saying that they looked “disgusting”. If anything, a lot of people mentioned having tokophobia, which is perfectly valid. The thing is, pregnancy is awkward and uncomfortable in reality. It’s the reason why women’s labour when it comes to it should be appreciated. It has various affects that aren’t talked about nearly enough and a lot of women’s rent prepared. Working in L&D, labour and delivery can be very disturbing and isn’t always “happy” nor “magical”. If anything, it can seem really sad tbh. Do women enjoy being pregnant? That’s a complicated question. Some do some don’t, but regardless of that, pregnancy isn’t something to be taken lightly.

However, when it comes to even post like that, why is it that so many people attack this sub by claiming that’s err saying “pregnant women are literally disgusting” when the tone and words and everything that was written did not at all point to that. If anything, I’ve seen way more vitriol over post-Partum bodies on various other edgy subs and confession subs and hating on women in general. However for some reason, those types of posts aren’t at all critiqued in a wide scale. If anything, they are defined and yet when it comes to this sub? Why is it that genuine criticism of the culture of trying to paint pregnancy and overglamourize it in a way that can easily be unhealthy gets criticized the most? Think about it.

Realistically speaking, am I denying that there can be some questionable posts on this sub? No. The nicknames we use is the main culprit I feel like (e.g. crotch-fruit lmao). But no sub is perfect. And no minority should define the entire purpose and entire impact of a sub in general and reduce it doesn’t to “hahah child hate” , even when this sub is one that ive seen so many different perspective and had so many valuable discussions the most that have all gave me varying perspectives (not at all in the circle jerk way that a lot of people claim it is).

People should be allowed to vent and seek support and be able to express all the things on their mind without fear of being criticized. For example, being upset that a friend had children who was once childfree and you feel like your moving apart due to her having children is a feeling that a lot of people claim is “selfish”. However, you can’t help how you feel. Having a place to express these feelings as opposed to bottling it up + along with the fact that people who tend to post online in general tend to be ones that are venting, actually have problems in real life, and wanting to express something they see as crucial in a way that they can’t in real life, adds up to these types of varying posts that a lot of people try to reduce down as “hate” in real life. You have bad experience with being childfree and with your experiences with parents will ignite anger and a feeling of unfairness, and naturally you’ll want to vent about it along with other people. And frankly, when you have a sub that allows a place to express free and undiluted emotion, it does come off as “strong” in a way. And it should. Nobody should have to accept less than treatment solely on the basis of being childfree.

Without the nature of this sub, we wouldn’t truly be able to have a proper change and proper discussion that don’t discussed elsewhere. It is impossible to be “positive” on Reddit subs when it comes to anything, be a job or lifestyle, because the types of people that typically post are ones that are looking for support and DO have bad experiences with. Nobody can post 1000 “happy” and “positive” posts on being childfree, and should be required to do so just due to the eixysbce of parents. Trying to force every discussion to be wholly “positive” solely on the audacity of people choosing to be “childfree” and as to not upset the “Angel parents” also inhibits discussion as well.

/r/childfree Thread