Weaponized crying is always her go-to. Gaslighting, invalidation and religious manipulation, oh boy! (Venting - LONG)

I feel stuck. H and I are the only ones who seem to be willing to openly address the way things are. H is struggling because he's still trying to come out of the fog and shed his own fleas. BIL silently suffers with SIL. FIL & MIL (divorced) will acknowledge how hard it is to have a relationship with SIL but not their own dysfunction.

There's a lot enmeshment here that I didn't go into detail on that prevents a total disconnect, too.

They behave like ostriches when there is any issue, head buried in something else. They pretend they don't see it. It's really a top-down issue where FIL & MIL passed on a ton of dysfunctional behavior.

Then I made the mistake of confronting SIL on her mistreatment of me before I realized she was a narc and she convinced everyone at a family gathering I was having a psychotic break. That was several years ago and everyone accepted her spiel about how I was mentally ill and carried on with their lives.

I was afraid to try to stand up for myself and lose my freedom or be forcibly medicated again. It took years for me to confront the issue with my husband and tell him how betrayed I felt that he enabled them all these years.

I don't have the confidence to go NC with MIL yet because she's the type to cry and make herself the victim. She comes across as very nice and outgoing to others. So NC is going against a grain that is very forceful. She's thought of as a timid and sensitive child that everyone is incredibly careful not to upset. Much in the way that everybody bows down and walks on eggshells for SIL, but not because they fear her anger but because MIL makes you feel guilty. But I didn't realize it was manipulation. There was a hint at that a couple weeks ago but today was on another level.

/r/JUSTNOMIL Thread Parent