My situation isn’t exactly like yours, but I experienced terrible anxiety and occasional feelings of worthlessness leading up to my wedding. Mine stemmed from a ‘yes’ RSVP turning into a ‘no’. One of my close friends put the wrong date in her diary for my wedding, consequently double-booking herself on my actually wedding day with a music festival. Suddenly the neves I had about organising the wedding started to become amplified. I often felt very very low, which I hated because it was supposed to be such a happy time! I’m here to say that in the moment you see your SO looking at you, when both of you are ready to make such a loving commitment, you will find yourself buoyed by the love of your chosen family. They are the ones who will surround you on the day. The friends who turn out to support you, the family who puts you first and your SO’s network who wholeheartedly support you both as a unit. I wish you the best of luck for the lead up to your special day. Your wedding sounds like it will be a truly beautiful event.