Is it possible to have a child that simply does things the right way after only explaining it a couple times? I have a step son who just turned 5 and I've been in their life for the last 9 months. The overwhelming majority of the time things are great. Biological father has never been part of their life and they child calls me dad, we are very close.

The thing I'm struggling with is they never seem to remember things or do them the right way on their own. It feels like progress is being made, but at a snails pace. One thing that always happens is leaving their underwear on the bathroom floor. I now have them at the point where they will actually go and grab it, toss in dirty clothes when I ask and they don't argue or put up a fight. At first they would argue and say no, but now they just do it. It's nice to see progress made, but it's just so slow. I would like them to simply do it without having to be asked, but this never happens, ever. Same goes for flushing the toilet, putting shoes away, sitting still, etc..

Momma doesn't ever seem to bother cleaning up behind them, but for me it's really frustrating. I think part of this might be that biological momma who has been there since day 1 is just going to be closer and not mind doing these things. I feel like the child should just not make mess at this point or clean it up themselves. Am I having unrealistic expectations, is it as simple as no children can do what I view as simple basic task at this age?

They will do other things like wasting absurd amounts of body wash while they take a shower or going thru half a roll of toilet paper and clogging up the toilet. At what point is this more than simply a young child forgetting or making mistakes? I can't help but to feel like they just aren't trying hard enough or else they wouldn't do these things.